In the airplane. All my thoughts are running around in my head. Mixed feelings, nine months ahead I will be completely alone. No friends or family in north of France. I'm happy because this is one of my wishes since a long time, but gosh I don't have any 'sight-seeing' what my life's are gonna be there. Is the family kind? Will I have a lot of spare time? Do I will have a friend later? Well. We'll see. All I need is a BRAVERY.
8th January 2011
Aéroport Charles de Gaulle, Paris.
So cold weather. 2 degrees. This is winter. Aline was already waiting in front of the exit, smiled, and helped me to pick up my two super big baggages into the trunk. And after, I was immediately opened the left car's door and really surprised there's a steer on it. Olala I totally forgot! Steer here is on the left! Aline laughed. Until the car, there are two lil'kitties who are smiling to me, their name is Lily (4y) and Mina (2y). So damnly pretty! Mixed of French (Fabien, their dad) and Korean (Aline, their mom). Aline became a French citizen since a kid. So, she 's a real French. Aline seems so kind and friendly.
In the car we talked a lot, the introductions, daily activities, our hobbies, our habits, etc.. Before returning to Caen, Aline decided to take me to Paris, La Tour Eiffel, drink a coffee on the Champs-Elysees. Olala, here I am, the front of La Tour Eiffel! One of my dreams came true.
Okay it's enough for hanging around. We are now heading to Caen. About two and a half hour we arrived. The house, hem! So typical Normandy house. Cool! It seemed that it's a calm residential area, the bourgeoisie. And I love my new room! It's really beautiful. From the bedroom window, we could see the city, because this house is situated on a hill.
Okay, time for dinner with my new family. My impression: they looks like a good family.
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| Don't be too surprised. The house is still divided by 4 families. |
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| My lovely room |
January 2011
No internet. No phone. No television. The French course will begin next month. I still have no friend. Because I do not know where I can the make a friend! The driving practice is driving me crazy. I DO NOT KNOW THE FU ** ING RULES! There's a sign "STOP", "Ceder le passage", regulations "Rond-point", and a million other rules that I swear they are 100% different with Jakarta!! Super-cold air, bright starts at 10 am, and at 5pm it's already dark. So pathetic!
I don't like the girls, Lily and Mina, Because they're not listening to me, they're noisy. I hate the moment that i have to take them to their school and their nanny. I hate the moment I am alone with them in the evening. I hate French, I hate driving a car here, I hate all, I hate my life here.
I just called my mom, my family, and my boyfriend ONCE in January with my cell phone. I cried much, I want to go home. I had so terrible feeling. Why did I do this? Why the hell I DID this! It's really not my thing. I don't do the stuff like this! I am not capable to take care of children. Too big responsibilities. Now I know how hard is the parent's job. Now I feel how hard being so far far from home. Nobody's there to hear you. When I am alone in my room in the night, I really really really want to talk with all my family, my boyfriend, and my friends, to tell them that I am not happy. But I can't. No connection in my room. It really hurts.
Okay, patient, patient, patient, everything's gonna be alright. I am just home sick. It's totally normal. After one month, I will be happy to live here. We will see. We will prove it. It's a challenge. It's one of the life steps. It's killing, but then it makes your heart stronger.
Because I know I'm here not only for learning a language, but i want to know my own capability to solve the problem, to control the situation, because when I'm hurts, nobody's gonna coming. I like it. I am sadomasochist.
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