My life as an Au Pair in France

“No, no, don’t worry, I’ll go with a moto, you can use the car.”

It’s usually said by my hostdad if there’s only one car available in our house. They (hostmum and hostdad) always ask me first if I need a car or not, then think about them self. It’s like it’s my car, not theirs.

I was always invited by them if they want to eat to the restaurant, go somewhere else, or anything else. Even someday my hostmum was invited me to go to the Disney Land Paris, just because it’s expensive.

“If you want, you can go with us to Disney, it’s a must-visit place, but it’s really expensive, that’s why you have to come with us.”

At my birthday (Keyne my bestfriend came home with me in Caen), they (my parents) were created a little birthday dinner, so sweet! I’ve got my bday present, a digital photo frame! As I remember, since the afternoon til the nite, my hostdad, spent his time all day just to prepare the dinner for my birthday.

Sometimes I talked with my hostmum, she’s an intelligent woman. When I discuss with her, I feel like I’m talking with my French Literary professor in university, Madame Riella. I had always something new in my mind after talking with her.

“I love my family. I adore my kids. But I always need ‘me’ time. If I’m stuck all day only with my husband and kids, I’m gonna be crazy.”

“You have to study much if you can. It’s so important; you’re still young and if you have the chance, continue your study to the top. And you have to voyage as much as you can. Trip is important; you have to see another world, then you can be a ‘real’ person. Because when you’re married, it’s all over.”

“I didn’t mean that the marriage is awful, no, no it’s amazing. But you’re still young, take it as a chance to explore a new world before then you has got married and spend all your time with your family.”

“It’s so difficult to find a real job here. You have to be graduated from one of university in France. You can’t just apply a job with your Indonesian’s bachelor status. But I am sure you are capable someday to work here, Icha.”

Ok, last phrase made me more optimistic.

But, in my opinion, let’s see how about all parents in Indonesia;

“Come on. You have to study much, and after you’re graduated, you have to work. Find money to build a family. Have kids, go on, move your body, you have no time to have fun.”

My hostmum, she’s sometimes asked me to stay a bit more in her family, in the same time, to continue my Master Degree in University of Caen. It’s a very hard decision. I needed one month to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Many thoughts were running around my head. And I arrived at the point when I have to say no. I have to go home first. I don’t know is it the best decision or not, we will see.

My hostfather is a great young father. He loves his kids very much. He proves his love by making his kids so clever, polite, and discipline. He’s patient. And when Keyne is in the house, she’s surprised, “Oh my God, your hostdad, he’s washing the plates, Icha, please give a me a man like him!” Yup, he’s not like another man, who’s just waiting their wife to wash the plates or do the laundry. He always does it himself. Even in the morning, it’s him who always wakes up earliest than anybody in the house to prepare the kids to go to the school. I hope my future husband is a bit like him *crossing fingers*.

It proved that they are really a nice family. And I promised, I feel that since I arrived in France. As I wrote before, many friends, family, thinks that Au Pair is just like a babysitter in Indonesia, who pampers the kids, and does whatever the kids want. But we, au pair, are the bosses. We decide, demand, and punish the kids if it’s necessary. All is for the best for the kids. And there’s no gate between me and them in the house. Everybody is so nice and polite. I am really a member of the family.

Summer is coming. All my family is spending a holiday in Spain, they gave me a choice, I’ll go with them or not. I’ve decided to not go with them. So, I took another way, it’s staying with a family, I have to stay with another family in south of France, because I want to visit Spain, Italy, and Monaco. And the most important is, I like the challenge and I’d love to have the different experiences. So I found them. It’s a family who live in Avignon.

I arrived, the parents are so cool, the kids are a bit difficult, but they’re so funny. Their lifestyle is a really different to my family in Caen. They’re a “funny-messy” family, not a “discipline-generous” family. After three weeks, me with my hostparents here are like best friends. Even sometimes, we’re dining in a restaurant, watching TV, and go to the night club together! They danced so funny and silly, just like me! It’s always so fun with them.

I met some new friends here. A lot. In Caen, Paris, even in Avignon. Most of them are students and professional employees. They never see me as a baby sitter or what. They’re always nice to me. They always invite me to hang out or drink in a bar. I can’t imagine if I’m in Indonesia working as baby sitter, I’d never ever make friends with another student. My professor in GRETA (French course formation), first time I knew her and she said to me, “I do realized, that what you do is really really brave. I can’t imagine that I am capable to stay away from home and have to adapt myself with a strange world when I’m still so young like you are. And with that huge responsibility with kids, I can tell you that you are really brave.”

That’s a bit stories of my life as an au pair. For 30 hours each week I am always with a kid, so tiring, stressful, but sometimes fun. But another 138 hours each week, I am becoming a lucky girl who has the chance to have new friends, explore the new world, drive out of town every time I want it, eat French food all day, use all the modern tools in the house, have a quality self time in my pretty room, see the beautiful houses and landscape, and have the amazing unforgettable experiences. It’s so worth it. Even more.