I am sure Paris is a man

Paris is the most romantic city on earth – everyone


Il n’y a que deux endroits au monde où l’on puisse vivre heureux: chez soi et à Paris - Ernest Hemingway  (There are only two places in the world where we can live happily: in your country and in Paris.)

I am not really sure about this. There’s many friends who said to me that live in Paris is so stressful. I took the conclusion from them that Paris is perfect for visiting, not for living.


I like Frenchmen very much, because even when they insult you they do it so nicely - Josephine Baker
I am so sure about this. A few boys who had tried to seduce me, even they were drunk, they did it so politely.

An artist has no home in Europe except in Paris - Friedrich Nietzsche
I just want to put another one town that’s maybe better, Berlin.

In America only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is - Geoffrey Cottrell
A bit racist, lol.


The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi - Fred Allen


In Paris, one is always reminded of being a foreigner.  If you park your car wrong, it is not the fact that it’s on the sidewalk that matters, but the fact that you speak with an accent - Roman Polanski
I’ve been there, but I parked perfectly.

 

Maybe the center one is a foreigner

  
France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper - Billy Wilder
Yes, you can find it easily in the entire public toilet.


When we arrived in London, my sadness at leaving Paris was turned into despair. After my long stay in the French capital, huge, ponderous, massive London seemed to me as ugly a thing as man could contrive to make - James Weldon Johnson

The best of America drifts to Paris. The American in Paris is the best American. It is more fun for an intelligent person to live in an intelligent country. France has the only two things toward which we drift as we grow older—intelligence and good manners - F. Scott Fitzgerald
I definitely agree with two last terms.


Whoever does not visit Paris regularly will never really be elegant - Honoré de Balzac
Even that we imagine that Balzac’s not famous, we could guess easily that who wrote those quote is French.

This is what you do on your very first day in Paris. You get yourself, not a drizzle, but some honest-to-goodness rain, and you find yourself someone really nice and drive her through the Bois de Boulogne in a taxi. The rain’s very important. That’s when Paris smells sweetest.  It’s the damp chestnut trees – Audrey Hepburn

Then my quotes are:
Every time I put my feet in Paris, I felt an unordinary passion and an unusual big energy, like I just want to spend the rest of my life for staring those beautiful buildings there. At the night, Paris is ten times more amazing. Regarding the Eiffel lights at midnite reminds you that earth is too beautiful and you will be thrilled to know how lucky you’re there.


If it could be a human, I am sure Paris is a man. Too many seduction that he tried to do with me, and he always did it successfully.

 

Three girls from three continents

They are my best friends here, in Caen. Their name is Sofi and Annemarie.
The person that I knew first was Annemarie, because her host family and mine are friends.


"Hi Icha, it's Annemarie. I hope this city makes you happy." It was the first sms that she sent to me. Happy?! It was the second week I was in Caen. Nope. At least, not yet.
Then we met for the first time. Fiuh, finally I can take some free-of-kids time with a same-age-friend.
Then I saw her out of the car with two kids! Oh. And then our first conversation was not really great because the kids were running, moving out, going on the road. Hmm. Normal. They're kids.
Annemarie is a shame girl, not talk too much, not much laugh, so serious, and has a beautiful eyes. Guess then where she come from? Germany.


In February. The first class at campus. I'm so happy. I sit down beside Annemarie and a brown-hair-girl. She's an active student too, sometimes she raised up her hand to answer the teacher's question. And after, I asked what's her name. She said "Sofi". And I asked what another class that she takes, and we talked a bit. Then Annemarie said, "You are Au Pair young girl too, right?" And Sofi is so surprised, "But how do you know??!!" And me too, "Yes, how do you know and why don't tell me?!" It's just because I'm dying to know another young girls Au Pairs in this town, Annemarie too, she was wondering if there's another au pair in Caen. But she never talked about Sofi.
And Sofi was just too happy and talked much, "Oh my gosh, I'm so happy! I didn't have any friends before, and I've thought that it's only me Au Pair in Caen. And.......". I said loudly, "Let's hang out, girls!!!!"

Sofi, Icha, Annemarie

There was a sweet moment how we met. Then since we know each other, almost every day we meet, almost every weekend we're driving out of town. We are trip-freaks. All cities in Normandy is totally done. Bretagne too. Saturday/sunday morning, we took a food and drinks from home, bring out our camera, and hop la, let's go! Driving for 10 hours-15 hours hang around north of France in one day, it's totally normal for us.

We are really in north point of France

Sofi is Mexican. Once we had a coffe-time together until midnight. We've talked much about our countries. Then I reckon that Mexican and Indonesian almost have the same mentality (except about the religion sector). We are crazy, party-lovers, love to laugh, too many poor man in the street, too much criminality in the town, too much traffic jam and population in our capital city. Sofi like to drink a coffee, a beer, a vodka, do the silly dance in the club, etc, just like me. Well, we have some many similarity.
Annemarie is sometimes like my boyfriend (Sandhy), lol. I mean, I know a lot of story from Sandhy what is the mentality of German people. Especially the woman. They says 'no' if they don't like something, they're serious and discipline. They don't talk if it's not important. But, seriously, they have a pure and honest heart. So, Annemarie my friend, she's perfectly like someone that I imagined about German people, and sometimes I smile when I remember this.


So here we are. Three best friends-trip partners in Caen. Asian, European, and American. Our homes are far far away from each other, but that who makes us so unique.

In Cathedral of Rouen

No ''manja" word for the kids!!!!

February 2011, my second month here.

Okay, I'm better adapted. Why last month there was no Internet at home? Because they're just moved, so they just plugged a new WIFI. But it was broken. Even Aline was replaced the new modem. And finally the Internet is good, the cable television, and the telephone are all active. Oh, finally I can see the world again after one month I was like living in a cave! But I decided to do not use Blackberry Messenger here, because I do not want to be a freak anymore who has the eyes just for typing a message in a cell monitor. 

Lily and Mina are also getting closer to me. If remembered last month, I feel stupid. Why oh why I am so weepy? But I think it was reasonable indeed. In Jakarta I am used into the frenetic life, I have many friends, every night I was hanged out to the concerts, I was singing, etc... Suddenly, until I’m here, everything is so calming and organized. Eat on time, regular works, have friends but we couldn’t be so closed, everyone is so independent. 

The lessons of parents for their children here were incredible different from Indonesia. 

For example 

Children are not regarded as a puppet. Everyone talk to them, they are scolded, advised, and punished (standing on the corner) if they are naughty.

There is no word ‘manja’ in the kid’s dictionary here. Since they are 2 years old they feed themselves in the table. Starting age 5 years old, they arrange their own rooms and toys, put the garbage in the trash (even Lily can operate her mom’s iPhone, lol). At 9 pm, their bedrooms are closed. Though they’re crying or cannot sleep, it’s forbidden for the parents to come to their bedrooms.

If you are with a kid, and you meet your friends / colleagues somewhere else, then it must be that your friend is greeting your kid first then greeting you. Kids in France was considered as adults. 

French are very very adoring the manners. Everywhere, everyone greeted each other though you don’t know them. From early they’ve been taught to say "Bonjour, ca va?", before starting the conversation. People are friendly and like to smile. The firmness of parents with the children here proved quite useful. All children are smart (this is true), looked 'cute', and fun. 

I've learned so many things here. One of them is how to treat the kids. Now I really understand how to educate children, and realized how many mothers in my country, Indonesia, are taking the wrong way on educating them. I don’t wanna be so knowingly, but yes, based on my knowledge of some families in Indonesia, many mothers pamper their children so that children become naughty and impolite. 

This is what we could not be obtained in all of schools. After all, if you decide to become a mother someday, we know how to educate our children well. Well I know it's a basic instinct to be a mom. But if I'd be a mother one day, at least I was spared from the way most mothers in Indonesia educate their children, who are too spoiling their children, and eventually the child cannot be dependent until they’re becoming an adult. I already have a stock on these aspects, thanks God.

I am sadomasochist

7th January 2011

In the airplane. All my thoughts are running around in my head. Mixed feelings, nine months ahead I will be completely alone. No friends or family in north of France. I'm happy because this is one of my wishes since a long time, but gosh I don't have any 'sight-seeing' what my life's are gonna be there. Is the family kind? Will I have a lot of spare time? Do I will have a friend later? Well. We'll see. All I need is a BRAVERY.

8th January 2011

 
Aéroport Charles de Gaulle, Paris.
So cold weather. 2 degrees. This is winter. Aline was already waiting in front of the exit, smiled, and helped me to pick up my two super big baggages into the trunk. And after, I was immediately opened the left car's door and really surprised there's a steer on it. Olala I totally forgot! Steer here is on the left! Aline laughed. Until the car, there are two lil'kitties who are smiling to me, their name is Lily (4y) and Mina (2y). So damnly pretty! Mixed of French (Fabien, their dad) and Korean (Aline, their mom). Aline became a French citizen since a kid. So, she 's a real French. Aline seems so kind and friendly.

In the car we talked a lot, the introductions, daily activities, our hobbies, our habits, etc.. Before returning to Caen, Aline decided to take me to Paris, La Tour Eiffel, drink a coffee on the Champs-Elysees. Olala, here I am, the front of La Tour Eiffel! One of my dreams came true. 

Okay it's enough for hanging around. We are now heading to Caen. About two and a half hour we arrived. The house, hem! So typical Normandy house. Cool! It seemed that it's a calm residential area, the bourgeoisie. And I love my new room! It's really beautiful. From the bedroom window, we could see the city, because this house is situated on a hill.
Okay, time for dinner with my new family. My impression: they looks like a good family. 

Don't be too surprised. The house is still divided by 4 families. 

My lovely room

January 2011
 No internet. No phone. No television. The French course will begin next month. I still have no friend. Because I do not know where I can the make a friend! The driving practice is driving me crazy. I DO NOT KNOW THE FU ** ING RULES! There's a sign "STOP", "Ceder le passage", regulations "Rond-point", and a million other rules that I swear they are 100% different with Jakarta!! Super-cold air, bright starts at 10 am, and at 5pm it's already dark. So pathetic!
 I don't like the girls, Lily and Mina, Because they're not listening to me, they're noisy. I hate the moment that i have to take them to their school and their nanny. I hate the moment I am alone with them in the evening. I hate French, I hate driving a car here, I hate all, I hate my life here.
I just called my mom, my family, and my boyfriend ONCE in January with my cell phone. I cried much, I want to go home. I had so terrible feeling. Why did I do this? Why the hell I DID this! It's really not my thing. I don't do the stuff like this! I am not capable to take care of children. Too big responsibilities. Now I know how hard is the parent's job. Now I feel how hard being so far far from home. Nobody's there to hear you. When I am alone in my room in the night, I really really really want to talk with all my family, my boyfriend, and my friends, to tell them that I am not happy. But I can't. No connection in my room. It really hurts.




Okay, patient, patient, patient, everything's gonna be alright. I am just home sick. It's totally normal. After one month, I will be happy to live here. We will see. We will prove it. It's a challenge. It's one of the life steps. It's killing, but then it makes your heart stronger.


Because I know I'm here not only for learning a language, but i want to know my own capability to solve the problem, to control the situation, because when I'm hurts, nobody's gonna coming. I like it. I am sadomasochist.

Keberanian merupakan awal yang baik

Sehabis pulang menempuh 9 hari perjalanan di Vietnam, Thailand, dan Kamboja,  keinginan saya dari dulu adalah merasakan kehidupan di luar negeri, terutama di Eropa. Saya ngga tertarik ke luar negeri kalo cuma untuk jalan-jalan, menghabiskan uang ortu, belanja-belanja, naik bus turistik, foto-foto, dsb. Tapi saya mau mencoba TINGGAL di sana. Saya harus merasakan itu entah bagaimana caranya. Tapi karena baru lulus kuliah dan belum terlalu lama bekerja, jadi terpaksa cari jalan ‘mudah’ untuk cari jalan ke Eropa.

Oke, itu awal niatnya. Entah mengapa tiba2 teringat suatu momen beberapa bulan lalu di Kansas (kantin kampus) bersama Retta dan temannya yang baru pulang dari Jerman setelah setahun lamanya. Retta berbisik, “Cha, gw mau ke Belgia bulan depan.” Oke, saya langsung sirik. Kita pun berbagi cerita dengan temannya juga. Ternyata dia baru selesai mengikuti program Au Pair. Bingung? Oke saya jelasin dikit. Au Pair itu adalah program khusus untuk anak-anak muda berkesempatan tinggal di rumah keluarga ‘native’ suatu Negara. Tujuan Au Pair ini adalah memperkenalkan bahasa dan budaya negara setempat kepada anak muda tersebut. Kita akan dianggap seperti keluarga sendiri, diberi kamar sendiri, makan dan tinggal sebebasnya di rumah mereka. Kita WAJIB kuliah/kursus bahasa di kampus minimal 5-10 jam/minggu. Semuanya itu biasanya dibayarin. Nah pertanyaannya, kenapa keluarga itu mau? Krn mereka butuh bantuan kita untuk menjaga anak-anaknya selagi orang tuanya ngga ada di rumah atau sedang kerja. Kita pun akan diberi uang saku rata-rata 300-400 euros per bulan dan jam kerja dibatasi maksimal 30 jam/minggu. Diminta berpartisipasi dalam hal menjaga rumah? Ya wajar! Anggap aja kita tinggal di rumah saudara, paling ngga bantu beres-beres dikit itu normal. Lagian syukurlah sedari dulu sudah biasa mengurus rumah sendiri, karena kita ngga ada 'mbak' di rumah. Saya juga yang memasak untuk orang tua saya. Aku cinta masak! I'm really happy for myself, because I am not a 'manja' girl. Thank you, mama!

Oke, selintas di pikiran saya adalah, baby sitter kah kita? Gila, udah cape-cape jungkir balik kuliah di UI, masa di sana jadi baby sitter?!

Emang dasar mental Asia, selalu takut sama hal-hal yang berbau ‘melayani’.

Lalu saya pun mencari tahu karena penasaran. Saya mulai mencari-cari info, website, dan semua hal yang berbau Au Pair. Intinya saya menemukan bahwa… Wow. Hampir sebagian mahasiswa-mahasiswi bule itu tertarik untuk ikutan ini, dan program ini sangat dikenal di Eropa dan Amerika. Kita ngga banyak tau karena di Asia memang jarang sekali ada. Intinya saya mulai tertarik.

Because I don’t know why, I need to get out of my hometown just for a while. I was never so sure like this in my life. Because here, in Jakarta, I have too much stressful.

Mungkin terdengar klasik, tapi emang bener tinggal dan kerja di Jakarta itu (I was a journalist for www.detik.com for a couple of months) bener-bener bikin stress. Pagi-pagi harus bangun, naik bus, berdiri pula, macet, panas! Dan keadaan sosial di Indonesia membuat saya pusing. Masyarakat kita terlalu mudah diprovokasi, keadaan semakin genting, isu pertentangan agama makin kencang, orang-orang berdebat, berantem, mau menang sendiri dan menganggap agamanya paling benar. Kalo dipikir-pikir, ngapain dipikirin sih?! Apa urusannya?! Cuma saya ini orangnya gampang terpicu keadaan, ngga bisa kalo ngga melihat sekitar. Apalagi kalo udah buka Twitter, duh kalo udah buka Twitter itu saya merasa berada di satu ruangan berisik yang isinya ratusan orang yang lagi gosipin orang, haha.

My boyfriend gave me so much the influence too. Dia sering cerita gimana kehidupan di Jerman (dia udah tinggal di Berlin sejak 16 tahun lalu), gimana orang-orang Eropa itu benar-benar memiliki mental dan budaya berbeda. Mereka cuek dan ngga suka ngomongin orang di belakang (well, guess what I’m thinkin’bout the Indonesian, guys!). Mereka menghargai kehidupan yang teratur dan seimbang. Terus perbincangan dengan sobat-sobat. Sheri, Ismi, Ratri, yang rata-rata bosan dengan kehidupan di Jakarta dan ingin merantau. One of them too is Keyne, my best partner, yang baru aja cabut ke Itali karena ada program beasiswa belajar bahasa Italia selama satu semester di Perugia. Quel bonheur, ma belle!

Oke, saya putuskan untuk ikut program ini. Dari dulu saya memang suka mengambil jalan yang berbeda dari orang lain. Biar punya pengalaman beda sendiri dari siapa pun.

Saya mulai daftar di website paling terpercaya, www.aupairworld.net. Sinting, ternyata ngga segampang yang saya kira nyari keluarga ini ya! Jarang banget yang say ‘yes’ sama profil saya. Alasannya sebenernya logis sih. Mereka males nyari orang yang administrasinya bakal ribet setengah mati. Ya karena kita orang Asia. Susah masuk Eropa. Oh, nasib.

Pemilihan negara ini juga susah. Tentunya saya pilih Prancis, karena ngenes aja udah belajar budaya Prancis 5 tahun di UI tapi ngga pernah tinggal beneran di sana. Tapi Itali dan Belgia sepertinya menarik juga. Belanda dan Jerman juga. Lebih mudah administrasinya.

Jadi ya, udah ngirim 50 ‘intro message’ per hari. Itu juga yang say ‘yes’ Cuma 2-3 keluarga. Terus abis itu email-email an. Kenalan. Info-info penting lainnya. Abis itu skype-an. Kalo diitung-itung, saya udah 4 kali skype-an sama keluarga di Prancis. Pernah satu keluarga juga di Roma, Italia, tapi ujung-ujungnya ternyata orang Indonesia ngga bisa jadi Au Pair ke Itali. Kali ini saya putuskan untuk cari keluarga di Prancis aja, utk menghindari konsentrasi yang terpecah-belah bingung pilih negara.

Oh iya, soal izin dari nyokap bokap ini yang susah. Intinya musti menjelaskan super panjang dan super lebar ttg Au Pair ini. Saya ngga menyalahkan mereka yang khawatir sih, karena itu wajar. Cuma yang mereka pikir itu Au Pair adalah pekerja yang ngga ada bedanya sama TKW di Malaysia dan Arab. Astaga, beda banget kali. Tata hidup Asia dan Eropa itu sungguh-sungguh berbeda. Ini kita belajar bahasa dan budaya, sekaligus tes mental. Tapi sekali lagi saya tekankan, SAYA PAHAM, perasaan mereka sungguh wajar. Mental kita orang Indonesia, selalu sensitif kalo disinggung soal ‘melayani’. Kita selalu takut menjadi ‘babu’, dan menjadi babu rumahan itu dianggap pekerjaan yang paling rendah serendah-rendahnya. Padahal kalo dipikir-pikir semua orang di dunia ini adalah babu, pembantu adalah babu, karyawan di kantor adalah babu, menteri adalah babu, bahkan presiden juga babu, karena kita selalu melayani orang lain dan bekerja untuk orang lain. Jadi tahap demi tahap saya jelaskan kepada keluarga, apa tujuan saya ke sini, dan ngapain aja. Akhirnya mereka mengerti. And honestly I don't really care about 'status' thing, and I don't care what people said about what I will do. Whatever.

September…. Belum ada kemajuan…

Oktober… Sama aja…

Saya hampir menyerah di bulan ini. Bingung bukan kepalang. Mau cari kerja beneran nanggung, tapi nungguin kepastian yang ngga pasti juga stress. Mungkin bulan ini adalah bulan terburuk dalam hidup saya. Stress luar biasa karena hidup saya terkatung-katung. Tapi kalo kata Reshi (temen kampus yang msh jadi aupair di Belanda), “Jangan pernah menyerah cari keluarga, Cha, ini tantangan belum ada apa-apanya dibanding pas elo udah di sini!” Hmm oke, itu nyemangatin banget, tapi nakut-nakutin juga yaa, haha.

November… Akhirnya! Mereka adalah keluarga Estay yang tinggal di Caen, Normandie, semenanjung pantai utara Prancis, dua jam dari Paris. Anaknya dua, Lily dan Mina, 4 th dan 2 th. I promised you guys, while I met them in Skype, I was totally in love with thoses lil’girls, and can’t damnly wait for coming! Oke, kita urus-urus semua surat yang ribetnya setengah mati. Atestasi kampus, sim internasional (krn gw akan nyetir di sana), kontrak Au Pair, tiket, asuransi perjalanan, ijazah, dll. I hate so damnly much the birocrazyyy! Belum lagi interview dari Campus France dll. Tapi semua itu adalah proses. Wajar.

Yup, and they were reserved an airplane ticket for me, KLM Dutch Airlines, directly Jakarta-Paris in 7^th January 2011.

Desember… masih urus surat-surat…

Tahun baru. Udah panik setengah mati. MASIH BELUM KELAR VISA NYA!!!!!!!!!! Padahal tanggal 7 udah berangkat! Honestly I’ve already packed my baggage. Tapi kalo ternyata visa nya ditolak, ya nangis sejadi-jadinya.

2 Januari… Deg-degan…….

3 Januari… Mau mati ngga sih rasanya…….

4 Januari… Lemes……….

5 Januari… A CALL FROM EMBASSY!!! I’ve got my VISA!! Langsung ngebut ke kedubes buat ngambil visa.

6 Januari Siap-siap…. Deg—deg an. Parah.

7 Januari  Had some quality time with my family and after, my boyfriend. I cried loudly. He cried silently. We were hugged each other so tightly. I don’t know maybe this was the best moment that I ever spent with him. Because I knew that I’ll go back home nine months later, that I’ll miss him so much and we will be together again, it could be the best feeling.

Berangkat. Dalam nama Tuhan, everything’s gonna be alright. AMIN.